Updated: Jun 23, 2019
As a recovering perfectionist, people pleaser, good-girl...where the thought of disappointing others feels like a slow fall from a tall cliff...I love this idea of good-ish so much!!! It’s been a game changer!!
I’ve always struggled with the idea of being a good-girl and the reality of being human. I mean- being a “good-girl” sounds like a right and noble thing...doesn’t it? Shouldn’t we all try to be good people? I believe so.
But here’s the thing i’ve learned Sister- striving to DO good is awesome...but clinging to “good” as an image or identity leaves us with no room to fail, and that means no room to grow. We are human, and so we are going to fall short...like a lot, like on the daily.
Hello🙋🏻♀️...it feels like as soon as I start to think, “Hey- lookie there- I’m actually a pretty good person” - then I go and think an ugly thought, say a terrible thing, disappoint someone I love, or just generally fail in some minor or major way...then I’m back to thinking, “Oh god, am I actually a horrible person and I just can’t admit it to myself?” It’s a terrible loop that keeps us stuck and ping ponging between self criticism and self defense... simultaneously trying to earn and prove our “good-girl” identity badge. It’s freak’n exhausting. And worse- it’s not that useful in helping us to actually BE our best self.
This is why I love the idea of good-ish so much. Instead of “good” or “bad” being our only options, good-ish says- “hey, I’m an error-prone and conflicted human, but I’m striving to be better.” It rejects the unattainable “good-girl” image and says, “I am a work in progress- I am learning, growing, and becoming - as I know better I will do better.” It un-sticks us and opens up space to make mistakes, to forgive ourself, to learn and to try again. This is so much better than the self-critical loop of..”am I good or am I bad” “If I’m not good, it must mean I’m bad, or at the very least- not good enough”
And because good-ish opens up space for mistakes & failure to be ok, and to learn and try...good-ish actually helps us to BE good-er than we could be when we’re chasing after that unattainable good-girl badge. It shifts our energy. So instead of spending all our energy hiding or defending our humanity, we relax into it. It’s in that open space that the learning and growing happens. Where true deep meaningful connection is born- because it’s where my beautiful imperfect good-ish humanity meets yours. Turns out, good-ish is where the best version of ourself lives!!
Sister- doesn’t that sound so much better? Doesn’t good-ish feel so much more doable!?! I think it’s time to send “good-girl” to the recycle bin and embrace “Good-ish” instead. Because truth is...we are all human, we all try and fall short, we are all “good-ish” and turns out- that’s exactly enough!! You are exactly enough!!
Now carry on with your big beautiful good-ish self Sis!