So many times, we suppose ourselves out of existence, imagining that if we speak our heart, we will be rejected or ignored. “ - Mark Nepo
This was me, for so damn long. I could hold space for the truth of your heart all day long- I was really good at it. “Give me your feelings, I’ll help you carry them. Your heart too. Speak it to me and I’ll honor it all with such love and care”.
But speaking the truth of my own heart...I’m mean the deep down dirty dog truth where all the jaggedy humanness lives ...nope. I always feared there wasn’t enough room for the full weight of my heart- jaggedy parts included. So I got really good at diluting the truth of my heart just enough to stay safe, just enough to keep the temperature of the room set to comfortable.
We do this sister. We do. As women, we’ve learned to do this. To believe there’s not room for the full weight of our heart. To believe the lie that says, the truth of who we are - the big full real whole complete us...is too much. That somehow, if we bring the full weight of ourselves to our relationships by speaking the truth of our heart, our truth will be too much, we will be too much. So we shrink, we stay quiet, we hide our hearts, and eventually those pieces of us die. Until one day all that’s left is a safe acceptable version of our once genuine self with all its jaggedy humanness worn away.
But there is good news. Because like all lies, this lie can be replaced by truth. The truth that the real whole authentic genuine you is not a burden at all- it is your gift. It is where your beautiful messy wondrous humanity lives. And it is in the bumping and rubbing and catching of your jaggedy parts that your glorious humanity is seen and felt and connected with. Will it create friction at times? Yes. Will that always be welcome by others? No. But it’s not your job to loose your jaggedness, just to be brave enough to bring it into the light. To speak it's truth.
Speaking our heart is what makes us human. I’m human. You’re human. Why should we believe that being less than human would serve us or our people!?? They don’t need less of us - they need the whole genuine human us. That’s how we have whole human relationships. That’s how we free ourselves to live and love with our whole hearts. And that’s how we give our people permission to do the same. That is not too much - that is exactly right.
Sending you big love, and all your beautiful jaggedy human parts too!